Starting a conversation with some conversation starters can be quite a task, but once you have started how do you know if the person is interested in what you are talking about. The speaker should know how to determine if the conversation is getting boring. This can be quite tricky since, with the evolving social circle, people have become adept at hiding their emotions. This means that a lot of people these days can master feelings and it is difficult to find out if they are really interested in the conversation or not.
There are some actions that can be used to find if we are connecting with someone or not these are unscientific method but I’m sure somebody might have studied this before. Also, these are quite similar to how I behave when I am bored and have to fake my interest.
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Watch out for repeated, predictive responses.
tips to know if You’re being Boring: repeated, predictive responses. Image Credits: Reader’s Digest
Always watch out for repeated perfunctory responses when talking to someone. If a person repeats a particular phrase, again and again, it indicates that he is not relating to the content.
Those easy to answer questions.
People tend to ask simple questions when they are bored. this might just be an attempt to keep the conversation going without having much interest in it. An attentive listener will ask proper questions related to the topic instead of asking simple our general questions out of courtesy. Even conversation starters of similar interests will help you to keep the spark!
Stop being boring: Deviate from the Topic. Image Credits: wikiHow
Watch out for interruptions. While it may sound rude, interruption is actually a sign that indicates that the subject is attentively listening to you. He is curious about something and is willing to participate in the conversation
Can you please explain?
Stop being boring: Can you please explain. Image Credits: Psychology Today
Can you please explain? A person who is actually listening to you will lookout for clarifications in case he has a doubt. terms what that means, or can you please elaborate or how you responded, these are the type of questions that show the subject’s interest in the conversation. It clearly indicates that they are trying to follow the topic or event that you are describing.
I think that people generally talk to someone because they find the topic or event fascinating enough to talk upon. A satisfying discussion is one that occurs from both sides. If the speaker keeps on talking and does not engage in the conversation with the subject, the subject will lose interest in the topic. This happens because even though the topic was fascinating the speaker did not allow the subject to share his opinions or experiences. So, a healthy discussion should involve balanced talking time from both sides.
Stop being boring! Change the topic!
Have you ever noticed that one speaking to someone they abruptly changed the topic? For example, if you were talking about the historical figures and his contribution to the nation suddenly the other person says how are your kids? This clearly indicates that the subject is not interesting and is perhaps not listening at all. This switch in the topic is a sign that that the listener is not engaging with the content
Body language is also a very clear indicator of once thoughts. People having good connections generally face each other while talking. When the other person has partially turned away it indicates that he is not fully embracing the conversation. In case of a conversation people seeing eye to eye is also a sign of paying full attention to the speaker. So next time when you spark conversation tried to look out for the body language and expressions
Stop being boring: Posture speaks volumes about the mood
Posture also indicates the subject’s interest in the topic. In the year 1885, Sir Francis Galton wrote a paper called “The Measurement of Fidget”. In his paper, he mentioned that people slouch or lean when they get bored. So, the speaker can easily assess the interest of his audience by looking at their postures. Attentive people fidget less and are set upright, while squirmy and horizontal posture indicates boredom.
I often remind myself of La Rochefoucauld’s observation, “We are always bored by those whom we bore.” If I’m bored, there’s a good chance the other person may be bored, too. Time to find a different subject.
Have you figured out ways to find if you’re boring someone?
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